CONCLUSION

After seeing all these fifteen items that best represent the Filipino family of today, we felt delighted but depressed at the same time. Delighted because our culture is so amazing and it makes us proud that it still exists. Depressed because our Filipino culture and values are slowly vanishing due to the Westernization of our country. We have become materialistic and we somehow lost some of our values.

However, as much as we don't want to entirely point out the negatives, we had a feeling we had to for us to face the reality of all of this. A slap in the face? Yes, but this can be a good thing. This can make people change. It is true that we are connected by our past. It is up to us if we will keep it, to let it grow, or destroy it. We always have a choice. Future archeologists and historians would see a country who has no direction.
Our culture really is the reflection of who we are. The objects of our everyday lives are the artifacts of tomorrow. This is what we want our world to see. This is what we have become. It's in our hands if we'll change it, or keep it.

15 - A Country Where Everybody Wants To Be A Nurse

The phenomenon of doctors becoming nurses is unheard of in other nations. This is only happening in the Philippines! How many stories have you heard wherein working professionals have left their jobs in favor of becoming a caregiver or a nursing aid? The Filipino has lost dignity because he has sold his soul for money and the American dream. He will swallow his pride that he was once a doctor, issuing orders and respected by the whole world, in order to stroll the streets of New York and London, but this time, as a pitiful slave. So many Filipinos are working overseas. Leaving their loved ones to find a “better future abroad.” We should not be surprised if the Philippines is now being called “a country of slaves,” for we very much deserve such name. Iwan na iwan na talaga tayo. It is only a matter of time. We can make the change.

Filipinos scattered in Hong Kong, China. Waiting for a miracle.

[ITEM 15 - WORK]

14 - MahalKita.com

“4M”- Matanda, Mayaman, Madaling Mamatay

I heard these from a woman being interviewed in a documentary. Old desperate women usually look for a partner with these characteristics. With the help of technology, they are able to find their potential partner on the internet. This growing trend is reflected in the surging popularity of online communities such as Friendster, Multiply, Facebook and Myspace.

Everything is starting to move in a much faster phase. Thanks to technology. But things are moving too fast that even marriage, which is usually done after long years of courtship, is hurried. They start to get to know each other through instant messaging and eventually propose to them in the same way, through the internet.

So do you think it is a good foundation for them to start a family? I just sure hope that they won’t add up to the increasing number of broken families.

[ITEM 14 - TECHNOLOGY]

13 - UBE (Ultimate Bonding Experience)

"U.B.E." is a term used by the youth today. U.B.E., which means, the "Ultimate Bonding Experience," refers to family or friends hanging out, going someplace to go to the mall or party or whatever they want to do.
Filipinos were so conservative back then, but now, Filipinos are becoming more and more liberated by the minute. Back in the old days, whenever the sun would go down, it would be quiet. Literally. People are going to bed, people are tired and all. But now, people sleep in the morning and go party in the evening. They go to bars and clubs to dance and have a "good time." This is the new "UBE." They would go drink beers and get wasted. This is the new past time. However, for families, the mall is the place to be. Not many people go to outdoors. Gone are the days when families go to parks, go biking, etc. Now, families go to the mall and watch movies, stroll, buy things, eat and splurge on things. The "bondness" is gone because there is no interaction when families watch a movie at the mall, no one talks, it's just them and the person on the screen. It's very frustrating. Maybe because this is a result of man's materialistic wants. Is this the new UBE?

[ITEM 13 - LEISURE]

12 - SACRI-PISO

The love of a couple will eventually bear fruit in time. Every couple waits for this wonderful blessing. Entering a married life itself is not easy. So having a family won’t get, in any way, easier.

To have a family, one should not only be emotionally stable but also financially stable. Couples should know their obligations as parents to their children. They should be able to provide their needs: food, shelter, clothing, and education. That is the problem with couples now a day. They enjoy the pleasure but forget the responsibilities. But I truly believe that every parent wants what’s best for their children. Some work all day long until they get sick. Some even enter illegal ways just to feed the empty stomach of his family. And there are those who choose to work abroad where higher salary is offered.

It is saddening to see Filipino families slowly breaking apart, literally. Seeing children get left behind by their parents. Having their “yayas” take care of them. Not growing with their parents love but with other people’s love and care like their grandparents. No parent would want to be separated from their children, just as their children would not want to be separated from their parents. I remember daddy’s girl crying when he goes to work. Funny how I cry so much even though I know he’ll be back that same day. What more if your parents will be gone for a long period of time. You know it is for you. You know that it is for your own good. You know. But you are only left with the idea, with the thought but without the feeling. Material things are evident. They are tangible proofs of their love. But the feeling, itself, is missing.

Good thing technology helps us in maintaining our relationship with our loved ones abroad. Technology helps us keeping in touch with them with the use of cell phones, internet, and even televisions. But is this enough to save the Filipino family? Will this prevent a loved one to find another person to fill the love lost? Will their voices and words alone reach their children’s hearts? Hopefully.

32-year old, Dolores is leaving her three boys to work abroad

[ITEM 12 - RELATIONSHIPS]

11 - "Ama, pinatay ng sariling anak"

FRONTPAGE headlines such as, Ama pinatay ng sariling Anak: Drug Adik na Anak, kumitil ng sariling Ama: Anak minasaker ang kanyang Nanay at Tatay: Anak na pasaway, binaril ang sariling Nanay: Anak naghuramentado, pinagpapatay ang sariling pamilya: Anak na ayaw padisiplina, tinaga ang sariling Ama; etc.
What happened to this country? Are Filipinos out of their minds? Where are the values that we are known for? Why all of a sudden, we are killing each other? Our family memebers?

[ITEM 11 - CRISIS]

10 - "Walang naninira sa bakal kundi sariling kalawang"

This saying really hits me because i feel like it talks about this country. "Walang naninira sa bakal kundi sariling kalawang." We are the problem. We don't stand up for our country. People from other countries discriminate our country and we dont even do anything about it. This makes me so jealous of other countries.

Moving along, other countries has been so advanced and literally, they left us. Like what I said, i am jealous of other countries because they have done so many great things. Like China. An Asian country where the 2008 Beijing Olympics was held. Can the Olympics be held in the Philippines too?
Going back, What makes Bird’s Nest so unique is not the size but its Chinese identity. The Bird’s Nest is a Chinese soup delicacy, which costs at least $30 a cup. It is created by a certain species of bird that creates a nest with its saliva. What is amazing is HOW FAR and HOW GRAND the Chinese can attach meaning to something as ordinary as soup. Kumbaga sa Pilipinas, it’s like creating a stadium and then call it “Sapin-sapin” or “Burong Talangka.” But no brilliant Pinoy architect has ever risen to promote our indigenous culture and express it NOT with barriotic-ness, but with a jaw-dropping, state-of-the-art facility like the Bird’s Nest.
The names of our stadiums are bereft of meaning and creativity: ULTRA, AMORANTO, ARANETA… Our theatres, convention centers are also meaningless: CCP, MERALCO, METROPOLITAN, FOLK ARTS, PICC. There is one theatre named in Tagalog, Lisa Makuha’s ALIW theatre. But just the same, no national identity. Just cute names.
I am reminded of Singapore’s Esplanade whose design was taken from a popular fruit among the Singaporeans—with the best varieties, in fact, being grown in the Philippines: the odorous Durian. In the Philippines, Durian is the mabahong fruit that only the probinsyanos eat (consider me then a probinsyano because my mouth waters at the sight of opened Durian—I actually think its fragrance smells yummy). But to Singapore, Durian is an icon of culture, progress, civilization. Same with Bird’s Nest, it is so symbolic of Chinese culture.
Another cultural icon today of China is their new airport, the Dragon Airport, which is so far the largest covered building in the whole world and expects to cater to 90 million passengers by 2012. Why call it Dragon, and not Mao Zedong airport or Zhou Enlai? The Eastern Dragon, apparently is an auspicious character. The Chinese Dragon is a symbol of RULERSHIP and IMPERIAL POWER. Whoa. And the Chinese have well thought of themselves for centuries, as “the descendants of the dragon.” They even have a proverb that goes, “Hoping one’s son will become a dragon.” So why call their airport Dragon?

I have high hopes for our country. We are the change. Let us be the change.The Bird's Nest, Beijing, China

The Water Cube, Beijing, China
The Esplanade, Singapore
The Dragon Airport, Beijing, China

CCP Theatre, Manila, Philippines

[ITEM 10 - STRUCTURES]

9 - Shoot That Ball!

Basketball has been the favorite sport of Filipinos even in the early ages. From PBA, UAAP to NBA, there's no doubt that Pinoys adore this sport. It's exciting and entertaining. This is also one reason why people become athletic and fit, they get inspired and they try to live it out. Basketball is everywhere. When you walk down an alley, you would see Filipino kids playing basketball, people go crazy during UAAP to cheer for their school's basketball team. Sometimes the fights get dirty and isn't that why we love it even more? Filipinos would always love this sport whatever happens. There's no doubt.

[ITEM 9 - SPORTS]

8 - The Debutant

For the debutant, this special day is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Long gone the 18 roses, there's the new 18 shots! Gone are the days when we pay tribute to the celebrant. The celebrant throws a party. Screw the function rooms and let's go hit the bars! Being an 18 year old now means I can party all night and get wasted and get pregnant and get married and go to jail. But not all instances are like that. The girls want to have a memorable 18th birthday that's why debuts are held. It's true. Filipinos know how to throw a great party even for some, poverty is very evident. Well, you can only be 18 once you know.

[ITEM 8 - EVENT]

7 - The Filipino Family Getaway

Ahhhhhh. The beach, the heat. Don't we, Filipinos just love the beach? Every summer, Holy Week, or whenever Filipino families have a whole lot of time to spare, they head to the beach. The beach is relaxing for the whole family and it is a great bonding experience. This is the traditional family outing setting: The mother is busy preparing the food and grilling and stuffs, the dad is out with the kids, the kids are swimming and making sand castles, etc. We live in a tropical country and we, Filipinos love the heat. I'm not talking about EDSA-MRT-TRAFFIC-HEAT, i'm talking about breezy, basky, kissing-your-face-heat that we all love. We always look forward to summers, the girls try to loose weight as much as they can so they can wear their bikinis to the beach, the guys hit the gym to show-off their toned bodies on summer. Boracay is the most famous beach destination in the Philippines. Lots of beautiful people, relaxing hotels, spas, non-stop partying, etc. We all love the beach. Whether you're young or old.

Boracay. The ultimate summer destination in the Philippines.

[ITEM 7 - PLACE]

6 - Nasaan ang Pulutan?

Filipino families absolutely love food. Let’s put it this way, Filipinos eat beyond their capacity. Because just recently, my family and I went to this eat-all-you-can restaurant, there was such a long line. Then there was this guy who got a huge pile of food on his plate. Literally, it was a pile of food. And he knows that he got a lot of food, then randomly, he smiled and said, “Kaya nga eat-all-you-can, eh!” I find it funny but rude at the same time because for a fact, I know Filipinos want to take advantage especially on eat-all-you-cans, I find it rude because it’s pretty inconsiderate. Anyway, Filipinos used to eat with their hands, but not anymore. I kind of missed those days when we eat with our hands and we use banana leaves instead of plates. Filipino families love serving Filipino foods such as Adobo, Kare-Kare, Sinigang, Kaldereta, Menudo, Afritada, Mechado, Nilaga, and many more. But now that we have been westernized, the basic Filipino recipes have been tarnished, putting new recipes on our cookbooks. We now have pasta, steak, crème brulee, etcetera. Modernization cannot be stopped but the Filipino family’s love for food wont either.
[ITEM 6 - FOOD]

5 - It's Not Fashion, It's Fasyon!

Fashion has always been a huge aspect to Filipino families. Gone are the days when families have new clothes every Christmas. Now, people buy clothes as often as they buy food. Well, that’s what we have noticed. Now, a piece of clothing is not seen as something used to cover ourselves up or protect us or whatsoever, it is now seen as a statement, something to show our personalities. Parents buy their kids clothes and make them as fashionable and sometimes rip the looks from fashion magazines and what not. Filipinos has now been westernized and materialistic. They all want their kids, or them perhaps, to look a certain way. Fashion is seen as power. Even though poverty is a major problem in this country, no one can stop Filipino families from looking good.

[ITEM 5 - FASHION]

4 - "Anak" by Freddie Aguilar

"Anak"

Freddie Aguilar

Noong isilang ka sa mundong ito,
Laking tuwa ng magulang mo.
At ang kamay nila
Ang iyong ilaw.
At ang nanay at tatay mo,
'di malaman ang gagawin.
Minamasdan pati pagtulog mo.
Sa gabi napupuyat ang iyong nanay
Sa pagtimpla ng gatas mo.
At sa umaga nama'y kalong
Ka ng iyong amang tuwang-tuwa sa iyo.
Ngayon nga'y malaki ka na,
Nais mo'y maging malaya.
'di man sila payag,
Walang magagawa.
Ikaw nga'y biglang nagbago,
Naging matigas ang iyong ulo.
At ang payo nila'y,
Sinuway mo.
Hindi mo man lang inisip
Na ang kanilang ginagawa'y para sa iyo.
Pagka't ang nais mo masunod ang layaw mo,
'di mo sila pinapansin.
Nagdaan pa ang mga araw
At ang landas mo'y naligaw
Ikaw ay nalulong
Sa masamang bisyo.
At ang una mong nilapitan
Ang iyong inang lumuluha.
At ang tanong,
"anak, ba't ka nagkaganyan?"
At ang iyong mga mata'y biglang lumuha
Ng 'di mo napapansin
Pagsisisi ang sa isip mo,
Nalaman mong ika'y nagkamali.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a very famous song entitled “ANAK” popularized by Freddie Aguilar has another message – is about the child who disobeyed his parents despite love and care given by his parents, but in the end, “Ang Anak ay Nagbago at Nagsisi”. Because now some of the Filipino families are separated from one another. Because the children are not respecting their parents, they don’t want to obey the commandments of their parents, and also they want to be free. But for me if they want and if we want to be a bonded and happy family we should honor thy Father and thy Mother - is the best and everlasting presents that child can give to his/her parents.
True honor begins with genuine love for parents. It is manifested even in “little things,” like keeping in contact with them, showing interest in their lives, as well as doing those things for them that need to be done. Letters, calls, gifts, remembrances, words, visits, honor of their views and respect for their advice are such things that parents may lawfully claim and expect from their children.
The obligation children have to parents is not a one-way street. Parents have obligations to their children. There is no law of God that says children must obey their parents in doing that which is wicked. Many parents are not respected because they are not respectable. To be honored one must strive to be honorable. Parents must in some measure earn and deserve respect as well as demand it. Parents earn it and children learn it. It is futile to expect children to respect parental authority when the same parents do not have respect for divine authority.

CLICK BELOW TO HEAR THE MUSIC:



[ITEM 4 - SONG]

3 - Blood is Thicker than Water

A Typical Filipino Family

By Peter Finch

For a typical Filipina lady, family comes first and this is something you have to instill in your system to better understand her and her culture. This factor could contribute to the success or failure of your relationship or marriage.

The family is considered as the basic unit of society in the Philippines and for a Filipina, faithfulness to her family take first priority. You may not believe that there are cases when a choice has to be made, the Filipina lady will choose her parents or family over you. (They have a saying you can get another husband but there's only one set of parents for her).

When the children are still small, the parents do all they can to meet hardships and sacrifice to give them a better future. Thus, when the children are all grown up and are working, they are committed to their parents and they have one desire, and that is to work and make the life of their parents easier. The children are hesitant to leave home even when they are married and have kids of their own.

Frequently they would build an extension wing to the original house and the grandmother is once again taking care of kids - this time her grand children. They eat meals together, or in cases where families cook separately, they still knock on each other's door and share their meals. Mealtimes, especially dinner is very rarely a formal setting. In fact, it s a pleasant get-together for the whole family as they swap stories about the day's events.

In a typical Filipino family, the women are brought up with the tradition that when they marry, their husbands will take care of them and they will stay as housewives and take care of the family and the children. Times are changing though as more women found independence and satisfaction in working and earning their own money.

Filipino families have high regard for integrity, dignity, honor. They show high respect for the their parents and the elderly. Children do not call their parents by their first names like western countries because for them, this shows lack of respect. Fathers are commonly called Daddy, Papa, Tatang, and Tatay while mothers are called Mommy, Mama, Nanang and Nanay.

Probably nine out of 10 Filipinos would not think of sending their aged parents or even grandparents to any institution to be cared for by strangers. You must know that you have more fingers in your hands than there are homes for the aged in the Philippines.

The moment you say the heavily loaded words "I do" in front of the judge or the priest, you must understand that you are not marrying only the "perfect Filipina bride" for you but you are taking a whole package for life. Do not be surprised that right after your wedding you have earned yourself 2,000 new relatives whom you do not know. Strange children will kiss your hand and call you uncle, while adults may shake your hand or pat your arm and welcome you into the family.

One final piece of advice: Do not ever promise marriage to a lady if you are not serious. Filipina ladies do not play around and if you abandon her after taking liberties with her, the family loyalty takes over. Consider yourself lucky if you can go home and your mother can still recognize you, not after brothers, parents, uncles, cousins, neighbors (and those 2,000 new relatives you were about to acquire) runs to your girlfriend's "rescue". Blood is thicker than water, after all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The article by Peter Finch is a great article for our readers to see how bonded a typical Filipino family is. It is true that Filipino parents take care of their children and make their lives easier. However when the children are all grown up, they are the ones who now take care of their parents. Ironic as it seems because in other cultures, when a parent's child is all grown-up, it's a must to move out from their parent's house and be independent. No exemptions. Another thing, Filipinos have high respect for the elderly. We use "po" and "opo" and we "bless" them. We love our parents so much and even if they get old most Filipinos wouldn't ever think to send their parents to a institution cared for by strangers. We enjoy each others company and family is a big part of our loves. Even if we have small homes, we have our grandparents, parents, families of our siblings, maids, dogs, cats, name it all. We Filipinos are such great people and that makes me proud to be one.

[ITEM 3 - ARTICLE]

2 - TREASURES OF A FILIPINO FAMILY

A family undergoes the ultimate test when Dolores “Loleng” Rosales (Gloria Romero) succumbs into a crippling disease and the resentment of her three grown children, Danny (Johny Delgado), Art (Edu Manzano ), and Grace (Dina Bonnavie) divided by distance (physically and emotionally) and with different lifestyles come to the surface. Will their mother mother’s death unite the siblings or drive them further apart?

Multi-awarded director Laurice Guillen truly captured reality as it is. The painful ugliness and the abiding love and faith that lie deep in the Filipino heart. This movie is great for the family who wants to discover their own treasures that lies buried in their own life and family.

A scene from the movie, "Tanging Yaman."

[ITEM 2 - MOVIE]

1 - PHILIPPINES: AN EVOLVING SOCIETY

“The Filipino Family,” written by Belen T. G. Medina, is a classic book that re-issues to meet the continuing demand for an introductory text on the sociology of the family in the Philippine setting. What makes Filipino families so unique? And we ask ourselves, “Aren’t families supposed to be like that?” Filipino families are often perceived as hospitable, happy and united. So this is a good book because it talks about the stereotypes and how people perceive Filipino families. The book examines family structures and values in the context of an evolving society. This book is a must-read for every Filipino family who wants to gain knowledge about values and what it means to be united as one.



[ITEM 1 - BOOK ]

INTRODUCTION

Greetings!

We are now on the 7th year of the 2nd millennium and Filipino families have somehow achieved total modernity. The Filipino family of today is slowly westernizing.

The portrait of the Filipino family is established by the Philippine National Archive to select pictures and documents that best represents the Filipino family of today. As selected members of this committee, we, David Guison, Syril Bobadilla and Ron De Leon has researched, identified and evaluated the different components of this social institution that we included in this electronic time capsule.

Join us as we examine these artifacts that represent the profile of today’s Filipino family. Did it made a change to their lives? You'll find out. So here are the 15 items that best describes the Filipino family of today. Thank You.

-Ron De Leon, David Guison, Syril Bobadilla, FMA4